This country is Barack-ing

Just a short acknowledgment of the inauguration this morning. I know I hate a lot, but watching that speech even gave this cynic goosebumps. Here's hoping that we return to balling out as hard as we did in the mid-90s.

In the modified words of Steve Ballmer: "I LOVE THIS COUTNRYY"

Barack, if you're reading this (I knwo you are- we got Google ananlytics on this bitch), let me just say one more thing. Disregard my earlier negative energy and channel the positive vibes I am sending your way today. You gave a good speech, my friend. Better than I could have given. Just don't screw this one up man. We are all counting on you, legit.

Handle thy shit.

New Years Resolutions

I've always tried to make New Year's Resolutions but in the past they have usually been stupid: don't fail out of college, learn Spanish, etc. However, since I have a natural aversion to speaking languages that are not English (If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, it was good enough for the children of Texas! -Miriam Ferguson) these have not often worked. I did graduate college though, so I always have that one going for me.

Anyway here are some more realistic goals for me this year:

-Continue to write Trojans, my scifi masterpiece that will redefine the genre and make me rich and famous (if you want to read some of it, let me know!)
-Not let this blog die like so many of my other ventures in my life
-Fix the slice in my golf game so I can become a member of high society and get invited to invest with Bernie Madoff (too soon)
-Attend my first NFL game
-Work out at least once a month (I told you these were realistic)

That's about all I got. Still pretty sore from tackling all those menacing newspaper stands on New Years. I think I taught them a lesson for trying to tempt me with free periodicals. This is America people! Nothing is free! Especially not freedom itself!

Finally, I would like to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you who actually read this blog. I love you all. I love some people who don't read the blog too, but they'll never know because I would never admit it to their face. Anyway, here's hoping that everyone continues to ball on progressively higher levels this year.

Cristes mæsse

Thats the Old English phrase for "get me the complete Aqua Teen Hunger Force on DVD or I don't love you anymore Daddy."

This one is for all the goyim out there- the birth of our lord is yea but a few hours hence.

Look upon these animated GIFs and remember what Christmas is all about- wait, what is it all about?

Shit I don't know, I'm Jewish. Happy Hannukah, mofos

Honestly, who throws a shoe?

Some good animated GIFs depicting this week's major news story not related to the coming economic collapse of Western Society.

via boing boing

Aren't animated GIFs the best? Discuss amongst yourselves.