Overheard on the Upper Middle Class Side

"That's why I'm trying to get off the methodone. Obviously I can't help it!"
-Associate Grocery, 97th and Amsterdam

Megabus Pros and Cons

There are a few reasons why megabus is a great way to travel between NY and DC. There are also a few reasons why they fucking suck fat elephant dick.

Reason number 1 why megabus is good: they have a pricing system that favors buying ahead, so you can get cheap tickets (only works if you can plan ahead, which cuts most of us out).

Reason number 2 why megabus is good: they are double decker buses, so unless it's a really busy day chances are you can get two seats to yourself.

Reason number 3 why megabus is good: they stop at burger king on most trips.

Since this post was motivated by utter fucking rage, here are the more numerous reasons why megabus fucking sucks fat elephant dick.

Reason number 1 why megabus fucking sucks fat elephant dick: even though they say they have outlets, the outlets never work.

Reason number 2 why megabus fucking sucks fat elephant dick: sometimes the internet doesn't work either

Reason number 3 why megabus fucking sucks fat elephant dick: when it is working, the megabus wifi network blocks youtube.

Reason number 4 why megabus fucking sucks fat elephant dick: no overhead storage

Reason number 5 why megabus fucking sucks fat elephant dick: there is at least one person sitting fairly close to you who is complete batshit crazy (i understand that this is a problem that isn't exclusive to megabus, but more symptomatic of intracity busing).

The Maersk Alabama should stay away from the Indian Ocean

So the Maersk Alabama, who you may remember as the ship which was captured by pirates a few months ago, was AGAIN attacked earlier today off the coast of Somalia. However, this time the men on board the ship had guns of their own, and were able to repel the attack. This story has been getting some good news coverage, but here's hoping that this story gains some traction.

On a serious note, the piracy problem is a systemic one and has dire consequences for both sides. Part of me wishes that we could call these "pirates" something else, because when I hear this word I start thinking about Blackbeard, Jolly Rogers, and booty. Hehe, booty.

Pirates have become somewhat of a theme here on hischampion. Please note previous championships about Pirates here and here, among other places.

Here she is, the mighty Maersk Alabama. Custom built out of freedom to deliver American shipping containers where they are needed most.

P.S. I will now begin calling my posts championships. Are we pro or con on this?

last gchat convo for a while, trying not to over do it but it's just too good

me: have you noticed that towards the end of college and leading into business and nonprofit world drafting, people move from 12 pt font to 11 pt font

Sent at 12:07 PM on Wednesday

Adam: what

me: exactly what i said

Sent at 12:08 PM on Wednesday

Adam: who says this

Sent at 12:10 PM on Wednesday

me: i do

it's a fact

Adam: i sometimes use 11

but usually 12

me: lame

Adam: why is that lame

Sent at 12:13 PM on Wednesday

me: cause 12 pt font is like being in college and using wide rule paper

Sent at 12:15 PM on Wednesday

Adam: i mena

i mean

i guess

Sent at 12:16 PM on Wednesday

me: dont play me

Adam: what? im not playing

i just usually use 11pt font

me: oh so you do use 11pt

that's good then

Adam: FUCK

no

NO

NO

me: i'm pretty much at the point where i've switched completely to 11pt

no pun intended

Adam: whatever

me: oh so you haven't

Adam: why are we having this conversations

me: you use 12

Adam: no

usually

jesus fuck

me: i'm in your head

It's time

me: the kid

Adam: kid n play

me: lock and kid

the incredible likeness of kid

Adam: sherlock kid

kidtron 3030

kid philip's war

me: james and the giant kid

where the kid ends

oh the places you'll kid

Sent at 11:43 PM on Tuesday

Adam: 808s and heartkid

despite reports to the contrary KID AINT DEAD

me: kid juice

Sent at 11:47 PM on Tuesday

me: kiddy and the tramp

Adam: sleeping kid

a midsummer nights kid

kidthello

on the kid

kidball

oKid computer

me: kid goes west

butch cassidy and the kid kid

west side kid

Adam: groundhog kid

you've got kid

wikiKIDia

N.O.T.O.R.I.K.I.D.

me: facekid

my kid

Adam: punch you in the kid

the divided kid

me: golgi kid

you enjoy my kid

Adam: kid from the bottom

me: gimme the kid

Adam: murder was the kid that they gave me

kids open doors

poppin kids

reservoir kids

kid fiction

me: kid 13

Sent at 11:57 PM on Tuesday

me: armakidden

deep kid

the poseidon kid

Adam: Jurassic kid

...we have kept this going for at least 15 minutes

thats got to be a world record

Sent at 12:00 AM on Wednesday

me: you broke it

Adam: i couldnt handle it anymore

i was losing it

Disney Sports Movies, Life, Playoff Baseball

As I sit here watching game 4 of the ALCS between the Yankees and Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, I am reminded of a few things:

1. The American League is a poor excuse for a baseball league. Tell your pitchers to learn how to hit and tell that extra juiced bat on the bench to lay off the roids and play right field!
2. Those that know me know that my dislike for the Yankees is great. One of my classic young memories was when I attended the first regular season interleague game between the Yankees and Mets at the old Yankee Stadium. Upon entering the stadium with my Mets jersey on, I was immediately the object of scorn for two inebriated Yankee fans, who hurled profanity my way until my father ushered me to our seats. So, I love the Mets but as they are terrible, I watch the Yankees this postseason. THAT BEING SAID:
3. I don't trust the Angels. When Disney makes a movie featuring your real team, a team that exists in the real world and plays real baseball, you are an object of scrutiny. Angels in the Outfield? Come on.
4. That goes for the Mighty Ducks also. This isn't Air Bud, this is the NHL. 
5. In the National League, we've got the Phillies THE WORST POSSIBLE TEAM and the Dodgers (spurners of Brooklyn). What's a Met fan to do?
6. Watch football, we've got 2 good teams in New York
7. WHAT? The Jets and Giants both lost this past week?? Badly? Jesus
8. I'm going back to reading tech blogs.

Long Island Rail Road

train ride back from a big meeting
city-bound
"As you exit the train, please watch the gap between the train and the platform."

the girl sitting across the aisle from me is laughing out loud in response to some electronic communication of an undisclosed nature
LOLing

out the window
majestic Queens unfolds

in the distance the skyline looms
New York's version of mountains

my neighbor has calmed down
i guess emotion is fleeting on a blackberry

"Attention ladies and gentlemen, we are now approaching Penn Station..."